Funny Quotes about Parenting

June 06, 2020

Funny Quotes about Parenting

We've compiled a list of relatable quotes from a bunch of hilarious mummas whose words best summarise this crazy adventure that is motherhood! Warning, they may make you laugh (or cry!) 

1. Children will model the behaviour they see. Me: False, they have seen me sleep. They do not sleep

 

Funny Quotes about Parenthood

 

2. The moment when you go to check in on your sleeping baby and their eyes ping open, so you drop to the floor and roll out of the room like a ninja

 

Funny Quotes about Parenthood

 

3. She believed she could and she almost did and then someone asked her repeatedly for a snack and she lost track of what she was doing

 

Funny Quotes about Parenthood

 

 4. Somewhere along the way, I became a person who answers, "yes" to the question, "can I put my dirty tissue in your pocket?"

 

Funny Quotes about Parenthood

 

 5. When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out

Funny Quotes about Parenthood

6. "We don't eat things we find thing in the couch!"... is apparently something I say now

Funny Quotes about Parenthood

7.  That moment when you fake falling asleep to help your child fall asleep and you accidentally take a 3hr nap

Funny Quotes about Parenthood

 

8. Caffeine is the foundation of my food pyramid

Funny Quotes about Parenthood

9.Parenting is a constant battle between going to bed to catch up on some sleep or staying awake to finally get some alone time

Funny Quotes about Parenthood

10Taking naps sounds so childish. I prefer to call them horizontal life pauses.

Funny Quotes about Parenthood

11And then one day, we decided we were tired of sleeping in & doing whatever we wanted in a clean house, so we had kids

Funny Quotes about Parenthood

12. If you binge watch while you binge eat, they cancel out each other. That's called science. 

Funny Quotes about Parenthood

13. The hardest part about parenting is trying to be fake mad when your kid does something bad but hilarious.

Funny Quotes about Parenthood

14. Should I sleep or should I shower? Maybe I could sleep in the shower. 

Funny Quotes about Parenthood

15. Should I sleep or should I shower? Maybe I could sleep in the shower...

16. My house looks like I'm losing a game of Jumanji

Funny Quotes about Parenthood

17. Hakuna Matoddler: It means no relaxing for the rest of your days

Funny Quotes about Parenthood

18. That awkward moment when you're not sure if you actually have free time or if you're just forgetting everything. 

Funny Quotes about Parenthood

 

19. I live in a madhouse run by a tiny army that I made myself. 

Funny Quotes about Parenthood

20. Friend: are you getting enough sleep? Me: sometimes when I sneeze, my eyes close. 

Funny Quotes about Parenthood

 

21. The house was clean yesterday, we're sorry you missed it!

Funny Quotes about Parenthood

22. I wore this outfit yesterday but I'm going to different places today...

Funny Quotes about Parenthood

 

23. My day starts backwards... I wake up tired and I go to bed awake.

Funny Quotes about Parenthood

24. All parents want is for our kids to go to bed so we can watch a show with bad words in it and eat the hidden snacks.

Funny Quotes about Parenthood
25. I'm looking for the moisturizer that hides the fact that I've been tired since 2010.
Funny Quotes about Parenthood
26. Wish I was as brave as my kid. He just took zero bites of his dinner and then asked me for a snack.
Funny Quotes about Parenthood
27. A perfect metaphor for parenting is trying to stand up in a hammock without spilling your wine. 
Funny Quotes about Parenthood
28. Nobody is full of more false hope than a mum who places items on the stairs for her family members to carry up.
Funny Quotes about Parenthood
29. I'm sorry if I didn't answer you, my kid sent you straight to voicemail because he was watching a group of American teenagers fill a pool with Orbeez.
Funny Quotes about Parenthood
30. I can't wait for my own kids to get their own phones so I can steal their phones and take 400 photos of my left foot. 
Funny Quotes about Parenthood
31. Fill in the gap: Welcome to parenthood. I love you like ___________ and chicken nuggets.
Funny Quotes about Parenthood
32. Children are really amazing creatures. Who else can talk so much. So early. Without caffeine.
Funny Quotes about Parenthood
33. Bedtime is the leading cause of dehydration in children.
Funny Quotes about Parenthood
34. Whenever you feel like a bad parent, just remember that the mum from Home Alone was halfway to Paris before she realised she was missing a child. 
Funny Parenting Quote
35. We haven't panic cleaned for visitors in a while and it shows. 
Funny Parenting Quote
37. I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally. 
Funny Parenting Quote
38. If it requires my child to sit still and be quiet, I can't come.
Funny Parenting Quote
39. The biggest lie I told myself is 'I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it'. 
Funny Parenting Quote

Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.

© 2021 Jellystone designs australia